4 Habits That Are Killing Your Dreams

4 Habits That Are Killing Your Dreams


Our habits play an important role in determining most of the things in our life. If you are not where you want to be, it's quite likely that one of your habits is responsible for it.

Our success, our failure; everything depends on our habits. Good habits will bring constructive changes, while the bad ones will keep you stuck in one place and will not let you move ahead in your life.

With time, bad habits become an integral part of us, which then becomes difficult to get rid of. So, in order to move ahead in life you need to break these chains of bad habits, and to break them, you need to realize what are your bad habits that are ruining your dreams.

Not sure what's keeping you stuck? Well, here are the 4 most common dream-killers.


4 HABITS THAT ARE KILLING YOUR DREAMS

1. THE MASTER OF PROCRASTINATION


This had to be in the number one spot! Procrastination!

You may have the most innovative idea with a great action plan, but if you won't work on it you will never achieve your dreams. Need I say more?

I know it can be hard to get over. In fact, I struggle with procrastination more frequently than I'd like too. But this is the biggest dream-killer out there.

Scientifically speaking, it's not just laziness. There are many underlying psychological factors that are usually behind your habit of procrastination. Some of the most common factors being fear of failure, unfamiliarity with a situation, perfectionism, and even your poor focus (due to, say, lack of sleep, burnout, etc). But whatever the cause maybe you need to figure out a way that will help you break down your habit of procrastination before it swallows your dreams.

One of my favorite methods to beat procrastination is the POMODORO technique. It is one of the most successful methods of beating procrastination out there.



2. FULL OF SELF-DOUBT? 


All of us are familiar with this cruel part of ourselves, aren't we? A great idea pops in your mind, only to be shot down by your own self-doubts.

Trust me, I feel you if you are chronic self-doubter, because I doubt my abilities all the time. Yes, it happens. And you should know it's not unnatural to doubt ourselves or our decisions sometimes. There's no harm in double-checking our ideas or decisions, and in fact, sometimes this may lead to better ideas or plans even. 

Doubting yourself is not a bad thing, but letting it control your life is. If you let your self-doubt to have you stuck at a single place for decades, that's wrong.

When you start doubting yourself, you think of every possible thing that can go wrong-- which is not necessarily a bad thing. Consideration of a few hurdles that might come in your way can actually help you plan better and save you a lot of time if it, in fact, ends up happening.

But constant worrying, not taking up new challenges because "you are not qualified enough", and constant fear of failure will only give you a sad, fruitless life.

Here's what really helps me deal with self-doubt: See, I'm kind of a control freak (not a quality I'm very fond of, but it's a part of me). I don't like it when things go out of my control. I make plans and I try my best to stick to them. But even with great plans and amazing back-up plans (yes, plans with an "s") I find myself in uncomfortable situations most of the time. Everything fails even with proper planning, even in the area of my expertise. 

So, you see, you may lack confidence and think "what if things go out of control and I find myself in deep sh"t"? Well, guess what, you'll be there anyway. It doesn't matter whether you're an entry-level entrepreneur or the CEO of a billion-dollar company, you will find yourself in deep sh"t more often than you like. That's just how life works. 

So, why not just jump into it with a positive attitude? Maybe we'll just handle it a little better that way, and learn a thing or two. And trust me, those "one or two things" you'll be learning through the whole thing will come in handy all your life. That's what called experience, my friend.

It's our human nature to self-doubt, having doubts in mind doesn't necessarily mean that you are not doing a good job. That's actually good sometimes, But don't let it become the cause of your anxiety or your limitations, or an excuse.

You don't have the full capabilities to finish a job? Well, you'll learn along the way. That's how it works for everyone. Everyone starts at level zero.



3. HELLO, PERFECTIONISTS!


Perfectionism is having the crazy need for everything to be "perfect". It doesn't necessarily mean that everything that you do is perfect. It's rather a thought or a way of thinking, that everything should be perfect.

In late 2019, I had this epiphany that I'm a control freak perfectionist. "Everything has to be perfect or else it doesn't deserve to see the daylight!". Although this was never a dominant thought in my conscious mind, my subconscious mind was diverting my brain to seek perfectionism. I wasn't even aware that I'm subconsciously chasing perfectionism in every aspect of my life until that day. And this is how perfectionism works for most people-- they are not aware that they are perfectionists.

Now, I hope you can see what's wrong in the quoted sentence in the above paragraph.

There is no such thing as perfection.

Your passion projects will never see the sunlight if you'll chase "perfect". Perfectionism will never get you what you want. It will, however, make you a procrastinator; a master of delay! 

So, just stop being so perfect, and get the damn thing out for the world to see! 

I lost a lot of time because of my "perfectionism". But I'm glad that I finally realized that I have this shadow-self that's keeping me from improving. Though late, I realized that my perfect can be someone else's average, and my average can be someone else's perfect. And so, it's not worth putting a lot of thought or effort to be perfect, because perfect does not exist.

Sit down, have a little session of self-introspection in quite, and really try to focus on your behavior-- What do you do in your free time? What is your thinking pattern? How do you respond to stress? Do you make excuses to get out of responsibilities quite often?

Try to answer these questions truthfully, and you'll know what's keeping your stuck.

Your takeaway: Aim for progress and not perfection, because perfect does not exist, but progress does.



4. TOO COMFORTABLE IN YOUR ZONE, HUH?


In my blog post 5 things I've learned about motivation, I briefly discussed how a little bit of competition is important for motivation to kick in. Now, why is this important? Because without motivation you can never get anything done. You need motivation even to pick up your laptop and turn it on. The motivation can be as simple as experiencing the pleasure of watching Netflix. But yeah, motivation is at work there.

You want your dreams to come true, then you have to motivate yourself. And motivation will never come if you are habitual of staying in your comfort zone. 

It's easy to not move forward and to be where you are. It's a familiar zone to your brain, and so it feels safe there and tries to keep you there to ensure safety. But it that fruitful?

Your brain is doing its job to make sure that you are safe, but your brain is not always right. How many stupid decisions have you made in your life? It all came from your brain! So, though quite advanced, it sometimes makes poor decisions. So next time don't follow through when your brain tells, "seems like a lot of work. Let's just postpone it for one more day.".

Our brain's intention is not bad, but you have to understand that in order get something better you have to come out of your comfort zone. You have to take the risk that nobody else is willing to take. You can never learn without trying something new or getting yourself in trouble occasionally. Ironically, being in your comfort zone and following your routine is not good for your brain either.

So, break the routine of being in the comfort zone. Do something new today.

Take a small step at a time, but take that damn step!



CONCLUSION:


We all have a few habits that keep us stuck in one place. Nobody is perfect. However, letting them keep you stuck is not what you want if you want to achieve your dreams. You have to push through your weaknesses and your subconscious thoughts that keep influencing you in a negative way.

Introspect, and ask yourself: what are the things that keep your behind in life? The first thought that comes to your mind is the reason what. It's quite likely that one of the above 4 will be your answer.


So, what habits are not letting you move forward? 


4 Habits That Are Killing Your Dreams


© Quirky Writes 2020

11 comments

  1. So true! I know for a fact that my perfectionism has kept me from doing some of the important stuff I need to just do and get through. Great post (:

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    1. Me too! It has kept me stuck the longest. I'm glad you liked it! thanks for stopping by. :)

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  2. I am the Queen of Procrastination, I will ALWAYS find something else to do when I've got a task I really don't want to tackle in front of me. And staying in my comfort zone is another one. Great post, food for thought!

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  3. So true! I feel like I am a mix of all four of these topics at times!

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    1. It's usually a mix of all for most, because each of these habits supports the other. Thanks for stopping by!

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  4. Yes to all of these, but especially the perfectionist & comfort zone pieces! There's no growth from our comfort zone, but sometimes we get so caught up in trying to be perfect we get stuck there. Nice post! :)

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  5. These are such great points and so completely true. Procrastination and self-doubt definitely don't help with achieving your goals. I needed to see something like this today, just to give that little nudge. Thanks.

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  6. Yes! I completely agree with all of these and suffer from most of them at some point �� but I'm working through them!

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