This is the ultimate guide on "How to fail at everything"; be it your work or your relationships. So let's get started, shall we?
Relax. You don't have to do much. It's very easy. All you have to do is follow these 3 easy things.
1. Blame others for all your problems:
Yes, that's right. You are not responsible for your failure. It is not your lazy ass that's responsible for your incomplete work. No, no, no. It's not. It's Susan who called you and asked you to go out with her. You failed in the exam? It was your teacher's fault who didn't give you enough marks. She for sure holds some grudge on you. You beat the hell out of someone? Well, I'm sure that person didn't even try to understand you. You cheated on your husband because he's doing overtime since last month? You go girl! So what if he's trying to pay the bills? He totally ignored you for a month. He deserves that! It's not your mistake, hell no!
2. Complain about everything:
Yes. Complain. How your life sucks at everything. Complain about how life never offered you the best and how your life was never fair to you. Complain about how your parents always loved your other sibling(s) more and how they never cared or loved you. Complain about how a McDonald's worker forgot to give you sauce. Complain about how you are sick from past 1 week. Complain how ugly you are or how fat you are. Complain about your low paying job. Complain how awful relationships you had been in and how awful people generally are. It's not like you can do anything about it, now is it? Keep on complaining.
3. Not be grateful:
Wanted an iPad Air for Christmas but got an iPad Mini? Ugh! Parents! How could they do that to you? Your friend gives you a ride everyday in his car but his stupid air conditioner doesn't even work? Really? You gotta find new friends buddy! You were unemployed and now stuck at a low paying job? That sucks! You didn't get the best birthday presents? Ugh! Life's such a bitch. When people will understand your needs?! People should do things to make you happy. It is their duty to do things for you!
Oh, you were here for the "positive talk"?
In that case, I guess if you're smart enough to operate the internet and reach this post, you can now figure out how not to fail at everything.