Saturday, May 28, 2016

What Not To Say To Someone Who Is Depressed

May 28, 2016 3 Comments

1. "Just get over it."
2. "Just try to be happy."
3. "What you went through wasn't that bad".
4. "Other people are going through a lot worse."
5. "You are depressed? But you're so happy?"
6. "I'm tired of hearing about it."
7. "Don't go for therapies and drugs. They don't work."
8. "Stop being so negative all the time."
9. "You just need to go out and you'll be fine."
10. "Stop the self-pity."
11. "Stop being so selfish.
12. "You'll feel better tomorrow."
13. "Life is not fair. You have to deal with it."
14. "Life goes on. You need to move on."
15. "What are you even depressed about?"
16. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself."
17. "Everyone is dealing with their lives. Why can't you?"
18. "You are too sensitive."
19. "Cheer up."
20. "Be grateful for what you have."
21. "You should try harder."
22. "You are strong. You'll be fine."
23. "You need a make-over."
24. "Stop complaining all the time."
25. "It's all in your mind."
26. "Happiness is a choice."
27. "I know how it feels. I once was depressed for several days."
28. "Have you got your PMS?"
29. "Try praying. You'll feel better."
30. "Nobody is responsible for your depression. You chose to be depressed."
31. "You don't like feeling that way? Change it then."
32. "What's your problem?"

Checkout some helpful books on depression by clicking here.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

How Do People See Depressed People?

May 24, 2016 2 Comments

Depression is not so uncommon term. All of us have heard of it, some of us have suffered from it, and some others are suffering from it right now.

There are a lot of reasons why depression is so common these days, which ranges from the pressures that we suffer in this modern world to the food we eat. Also, advancement in the field of medicine has lead to a better diagnosis; hence we can see an increase in number of cases.

Here's an articles that has some facts about depression: Lesser known facts about depression

It's mentioned in this article that about 80% of those suffering from depression don't even go to see a doctor. 80%! Do you know what this statistic means? It means that a huge deal of people suffer in silence. Which is just awful and should not happen. But you can't blame depressed people for not being open about their condition. Why you ask? Because our society sucks! We suck! Okay, okay. I won't generalize and won't exaggerate but you can't help but agree that not a lot of people around us are supportive.

According to that research (that I came across in Psychology Today's website) people rather like to say that they feel overwhelmed, their sleep was restless, they had poor appetite and everything is an effort, than to admit that they're depressed. These are all classic psychosomatic symptoms of depression.

People don't like to admit that they're depressed because they fear of being judged and being "labelled" as depressed. And why is that? Because our society sees depressed people differently.

What do people think about depressed people?

A lot of people don't even consider depression as an illness. They think that it's just sadness, and that people can easily get over it if they try to smile, and try to be happy. But for someone who is depressed, it's a lot more difficult than it sounds. If they could just do that, they would. Who likes to feel like shit about themselves? And if they could, depression wouldn't be recognized by medical sciences as a mental illness.

The second thing is, people think that those who are depressed are too "weak". In reality, depression has nothing to do with whether you are strong or weak. It has no boundaries. And it can develop in "strong" people as well. Depression originates when some of your concerns starts to impact you negatively; which can happen to anyone. Depression can occur in the most mentally strong, ambitious and confident person out there. It has no relationship with age, gender or your personality. Mental strength and mental health are two entirely different things. In fact, if you're living with depression, chances are that you're mentally stronger than others.

Thirdly, depressed people are seen as an attention seeker. When a person is open about his condition people think that person is being melodramatic and only needs attention, and that they need to get over themselves. Such a ridiculous thing to say to someone who is suffering from depression. I'm not talking about those who fake but real depression causes irritability. What else do you expect from someone who is totally lost? Someone who can't figure out what to do to ease the pain they are going through? If we can express our happiness, why can't we express our sadness? And since when expressing your feelings became a taboo?

This is the reason why people don't speak up about their condition because they know they won't get any help and at the end of the day, they will be judged and tagged as someone who is "weak".

What it feels like to be depressed?

Now let's see in brief what depression actually "feels" like, in contrast of what other people think. 

......and no, depression is NOT only these 4 feelings. Different people will describe their feelings differently. These are the "feelings", NOT the symptoms. Some people also feel "numbness"; a total lack of feelings. They don't feel sad about the sad things and don't get that happy feeling on getting a good news. Every feeling is the same.....numb. They lose their interest and motivation in life. A lot of people also suffer from mood-swings.

And what do depressed people think? Everything negative! They can't quit thinking about it. They try to sleep at night hoping that they will forget about their thoughts in the morning, but then the same thing pops up in their mind as soon as they wake up. And's not easy to get over it. Because it's depression, not just "sadness".

Depression is not as easy as it seems. And it's definitely not "another blue day". Depression is much more than what people think. It is an issue of concern because it's actually quite common than you think and the statistics are only increasing. Maybe your sibling is suffering from it right now and you just keep on dismissing the idea by thinking that she's just sad.

In the coming few posts I'll be discussing depression a bit more. I hope you find it useful. Share your experience with all of us. Your suggestions and requests are welcomed. Leave your message on the comment section or in the "write to me" section on the right hand side.

You can check out some useful books on depression by clicking here.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Fat? Who Me? Have you ever been fat shamed?

May 14, 2016 4 Comments
I was in a forum the other day and one guy mentioned about how one of his friends got body shamed by two total strangers in public. For obvious reasons she got upset and cried. 

Body shaming is defined as inappropriate negative statements and attitudes toward another person's weight or size. Or you can simply say shaming someone for their body type.

Really? People should be ashamed of what size they are?

And who gets to decide the standards that we use as the "ideal ones"?

The best thing about human beings is that we keep on advancing on everything, whether be in the field of medicine or technology, and even body shaming. Body shaming is no longer limited to shaming overweight/obese people. There are a variety of body shaming. For instance, female athletes are now being muscle shamed! Thin people get shamed for being too "skinny". Body builder men get shamed for having too much muscle. And then we have the dad bod shaming; the type which is not overweight but not too fit either. Vin Diesel was recently put in the category of "dad bod"! Yeah, that's right. I must say, we're truly evolving! Still wondering what the ideal body type is, btw, because it seems every body type is being body shamed.

And what do get by body shaming others? Do we try to fit in a group? Or try to feel good about ourselves? In my opinion, any group that masters in activities like body shaming is totally a shitty group. Get the hell away from them! And if you do it to feel good about yourself, then dude, first of all, you're a douche, and second of all, spend the time you waste on judging people on developing your qualities. That way you'll actually be a better person.

I read somewhere that obese people are more depressed, lack self-worth, have no self control and suffer from more emotional ups and downs. Well, of course a person will suffer from all these things if they're being bombarded with negative comments all the time! Duh! I would. You would. Anyone would! We're just humans.
Have you ever been fat shamed?

Obese people get bullied all the time. We don't need researches done to prove that. It's so common that we all must have seen that happening around us, or with us if you were or are an obese/overweight/chubby person. Kids can be mean, and so can adults.

Our habit of assuming things sucks!

Assuming things about others is one major problem why obese people have to through a lot of difficulties. According to a research, people "think" that fat people are lazy, socially awkward and unclean. People were shown 5 pictures of 5 different models. Thin people were perceived to be attractive, independent, intelligent, friendly and likable. On the other hand obese people got negatively rated on 9 out of 15 traits. It has also been found that women who were 13 pound overweight were earning $9000 less than average-weight women. And very heavy weight women earned $19000 less! That's a huge amount. And let me mention, the researchers had clearly mentioned that it has nothing to do with education level. Apparently, the employers also try to hide obese employees, when it comes meeting with people/clients. To me, it's kind of indirect body shaming.

It's funny how we assume things about others without even knowing them. And it's ridiculous how people think that bigger body size equals less talent.

I've met some really amazing overweight/obese people. They are the most confident people ever, have the best sense of humor and they make amazing friends. You gotta be polite with people and give them a chance to show you who they really are. You'll be amazed a lot of the time.

Social media's giving us complex too!

Social media is another bitch. Too many people showing off their bum bums on the internet! We buy whatever social media tells us is right and we don't even once question it, especially the teens. Tumblr and Instagram is full of people with "perfect bodies". Seriously. And I'd be lying if I say I never felt insecure after seeing something on the internet.  It's great you have a nice body and since it's yours, you can totally show it off the way you like. It is also okay to feel insecure; that's human nature. But while admiring other people's perfect bosom, we shouldn't underestimate our own package. Your chubby body might be goals for someone else. You never know. Not everyone dreams to be a zero figure.

I've been an overweight my whole life. I've been called fat and I was the fat kid of my class. But to be honest (and I'm not just saying it), I never felt bad about myself for that reason. And really that's no reason to be ashamed of. I did lose a lot of weight when I left for college and started living in hostel. Anyone who has ever lived in a hostel will know what I'm talking about. But I still am chubby. And I love it! Twisted? Nah, not to me! I rather be chubby than skinny. Being an overweight was never a drawback to me, and it still isn't.

Now, of course, I believe that everyone should eat healthy and do some amount of exercise to stay healthy. Of course there are some health related drawbacks that comes with high level of body fat. You want to lose weight and be more healthy? Do it. But do it for yourself; not because your boyfriend asked you to.

My letters:

My letter to all the awesome chubby people out there:

Dear chubby people, 

You don't have to be the sad panda here! There's nothing to be ashamed of. You don't have to feel bad about yourself. What you need to do is, in fact, first of all, get rid of the people who don't treat you with love and doesn't support you. If your boyfriend tells you to lose weight, honey, you need a new boyfriend. If your friends make fun of you all the time, lose them. Do it. For the sake of your health. 

Number two: Fat is NOT equal to ugly. Believe me. 

Number three: Don't be sorry for who you are. Make it very clear to everyone around you. This is you and you should love yourself.

Number four: Show people you're more than just a body. Don't try to hide in the shell you created to protect yourself from the bullies. Like I've mentioned already, I've met some really awesome overweight people in my life (I myself am one, *winks*).  Show people what an amazing person you are through your personality. Make them see what you have to offer, and what they were missing being ignorant, by being yourself. Don't care what others will think and don't let anyone break down your confidence. 

And remember, self-worth does not comes from your dress size. 

We can never be perfect for everyone. No matter how good you look or how amazing your personality is, people will always try to belittle you. Try not give an "eff" about it! 

Be proud of your thunder thighs! 

If someone calls you a "dad bod", tell them that's the category Vin Diesel belongs to too! 

And if someone calls you fat, tell them kiss your fat ass! 

Quirky Writes

My letter to all the body shamers:

Dear Body Shamers

Back off!

Quirky Writes

Remember, the ideal body for you is the body you're in right now. Cherish it.

And another thing is, we can achieve so much by being ourselves. All we have to do is accept ourselves for who we are and go from there. Haters don't even matter, honeybun.

We got to stop being judgmental about others if we want to make this world a better place.

And by the way, do you know how Gabourey Sidibe responded to all the body shaming comments she got for her 2014 Golden Globes? She said: "I most definitely cried about it on that private jet on my way to my dream job last night". That's how you deal with the haters like a boss!

So, have you ever been fat shamed? Or have you ever body shamed someone? Don't worry we won't be judgmental. Everyone has a past!

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

How To Fail At Everything

May 03, 2016 8 Comments

This is the ultimate guide on "How to fail at everything"; be it your work or your relationships. So let's get started, shall we?

Relax. You don't have to do much. It's very easy. All you have to do is follow these 3 easy things.

1. Blame others for all your problems:

Yes, that's right. You are not responsible for your failure.  It is not your lazy ass that's responsible for your incomplete work. No, no, no. It's not. It's Susan who called you and asked you to go out with her. You failed in the exam? It was your teacher's fault who didn't give you enough marks. She for sure holds some grudge on you. You beat the hell out of someone? Well, I'm sure that person didn't even try to understand you. You cheated on your husband because he's doing overtime since last month? You go girl! So what if he's trying to pay the bills? He totally ignored you for a month. He deserves that! It's not your mistake, hell no!

2. Complain about everything: 

Yes. Complain. How your life sucks at everything. Complain about how life never offered you the best and how your life was never fair to you. Complain about how your parents always loved your other sibling(s) more and how they never cared or loved you. Complain about how a McDonald's worker forgot to give you sauce. Complain about how you are sick from past 1 week. Complain how ugly you are or how fat you are. Complain about your low paying job. Complain how awful relationships you had been in and how awful people generally are. It's not like you can do anything about it, now is it? Keep on complaining.

3. Not be grateful: 

Wanted an iPad Air for Christmas but got an iPad Mini? Ugh! Parents! How could they do that to you? Your friend gives you a ride everyday in his car but his stupid air conditioner doesn't even work? Really? You gotta find new friends buddy! You were unemployed and now stuck at a low paying job? That sucks! You didn't get the best birthday presents? Ugh! Life's such a bitch. When people will understand your needs?! People should do things to make you happy. It is their duty to do things for you!

Oh, you were here for the "positive talk"?   
In that case, I guess if you're smart enough to operate the internet and reach this post, you can now figure out how not to fail at everything.